install theme

dashingyounghero:

hipsterinatardis:

Don’t leak nudes

Leak pictures of SPIDER-MAN

image

smash-int0-you:

I follow everyone back :)

alvaroruso13:

when youre in 1st place in Mario Kart and someone throws a blue shell

image 

2-shane-s:

i walk a lonely road the only one that i have ever known
semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.
Anonymous:
What did you get on your SAT's?
Me:

asian:

mostly disappointed looks from my parents

congragulation:

"you were named after the bravest man i ever knew, harry potter, jr."

surprisebitch:

dating tip: ask them to show you their recently used emojis so you can count your matches and see if you are compatible

(Source: surprisebitch)

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